Twice Shy
by SnowFallsSlow
Summary: She had backed away, eyes apologetic. She'd been bitten once already by pretty words. But, after everything they'd gone through, she couldn't turn her back on him again. Terra-centric. One-shot. Possible one-sided TerraXBB.


_I'm getting these tiny plot bunnies, and they're getting in the way of the technical trouble I'm having with_ Confiscated._ Rest assured, I haven't given up on the story; I just need to figured out how to present the latest chapter._

_This is sort of stream of conciousness, sort of not._

* * *

"Come with me," he'd said, imploring her for her company again. There was so much in those three words, so many promises, so many things she wanted to believe. But he'd charmed her before with sweet, meaningless, broken promises. She was already shaking her head.

"You go," she responded, trying once more to shut him down. "You're the Teen Titan. That's who you are." The wonderful boy who tries to save every hurting person he comes across. The bleeding heart. "That's not me. I'm not a hero." _I don't know if I ever can be again_, she was thinking. "I'm not out to save the world." _I've already done my part; please, Beast Boy, just let me get on with my life._ "I'm just a girl with a geometry test next period, and I haven't studied."

She had backed away then, clutching her notes and books to her heart as it broke, as though she could hold herself together just as easily as a stack of messy papers. It was everything she could do to not start crying right there and then, to stuff the chaos she was on the inside back down, to fortify her façade before it crumbled and she fell apart. Her eyes were apologetic, sorrow for not being the girl he wanted, for wasting his time. Again.

Part of her hated him. He'd driven her away just as she'd started to open up to him; she'd confided in him, trusted him with her greatest curse and deepest regret. He'd promised, easy as breath, he'd never tell anyone, even as he tried to convince her that it was no big deal. She had had to smile to herself at that; he made promises so easily, so freely. He was so innocent, trusting; how could he ever go against his word?

Easy as breath, though, he'd turned to Robin and blabbed like the good little Titan he was, the little soldier he'd been trained his whole life to be. Slade had found that interesting, the rigorous training that the goofy changeling had undergone with the Doom Patrol. How could Beast Boy have confided so much in her when his only plan was to trample her heart underfoot like the earth she controlled? Maybe he'd lied, maybe he'd felt sorry for her, maybe he'd've talked to the walls if she hadn't been there; how he'd done it didn't matter now. The past was the past, no matter how earth shattering it had been in the making.

Part of her loved him. He was still chasing after her, after everything she'd done; after everything she'd put him through; after everything they'd been through together. He'd assured her that he could never hate her, that she'd never be able to do something so bad he would turn on her. She had had to smile to herself at that; he made promises so rashly, so quickly. He was so trusting and innocent; how could she expect him to understand the magnitude of what she'd done to their team, his team, to him, to them and what they might have had.

But he'd turned around and spat it at her, her worst fear of all: she had no friends. Slade had smiled at that, the way it broke her spirit and twisted it and mutilated it and snapped something inside her had warmed his stone heart. She had wanted to save Beast Boy from Slade's wrath, but a few simple words had changed all that. She would never trust another handsome, smiling face again. Maybe it was anger that had made him lash out, maybe he hadn't meant an unkind word he'd ever said, maybe it had all been a misunderstanding; but maybes don't matter, not really.

But, it did matter. Everything they'd been through, the good and the bad and the downright horrible and the laughter and the jokes and… just… everything. He'd been something she'd never had before; something new and wonderful in her dull, well-worn lifestyle. He'd listened to her, cared about her, doted on her, loved her, the brokenness she was and the danger she represented, even before Slade had gotten involved. And like a fool, she hadn't understood what she'd been given, not really. And, like everything else she touched, this small sanctuary had come crashing down around her.

But even the abandoned ruins of a once-great temple matter. She'd carry their broken could-have-been with her for the rest of her life: the jaggedly jeweled centerpiece of her tarnished crown. Because it had mattered, once; it had been the most important thing she had ever done.

And that… that was why she backed away from him in that hallway, as she cut through his heart and hers to remove her blemished presence from his life, so that he could get the healing she'd never deserve. After all that they'd been through, she couldn't turn her back on him.

Not again.

* * *

_There you have it; this is more or less my opinion on current-Terra. It's also all the more Terra I plan on writing._

_Disclaimer: I don't own. The dialouge in the beginning is straight from the TV show; everything else is original._

_...SnowFallsSlow..._


End file.
